The Tariff Wars

OLD TARIFF HARRY.
Tune. — Good old days of Adam and Eve.

Ye Whigs and ye Locos who little have to do now,
Just listen to my song, you will find it true now,
Our vice of a ruler has squeezed us into dizziness,
All business is at a stand, and we all stand for business.
Since our new congress formed, nearly four years have run, sir,
And what little they have “did,” he has undone, sir.
For the shoes that he slipped in his feet grew too big, sirs,
And his head is too thick for a true Yankee wig (whig,) sirs,
And the only head and feet that can both carry.
Is our whole-headed, whole souled (soled) Tariff Harry.
When they first took their seats they raised an alarm, sir,
‘Bout the form of affairs, which affairs they’d reform, sir,
They reform’d all their pockets in a self serving job, sir.
And left Uncle Sam without a penny in his fob, sir,
But to fill up his purse, the only way now, sir,
Is to go for the true old Tariff Clay, now, sir.
When in the hall he’d got his foot, sir,
He trimmed off his wig (whig) to the loco cut, sir.
And he changed his mind, but to mind his change,
And the people thought it a vice most strange, sir,
He’s left them in the mud, and the only way now,
For them to get out is to hold to Clay, now.
His patriotic soul was ne’er bought nor sold, sir,
And his fine free Clay old Tyler couldn’t mould, sir.
For he nobly refused each bribe reward, sir,
And joined the people ‘gainst the ‘corporal guard,’
Then rise altogether, we’ll make times gay,
By putting in the chair old tariff Clay.

Notes:

Not sure that folks would get the joke, our author feels it necessary to put the puns into parentheses.

The whole thing with tariffs was that the Whigs favored protective tariffs, while the Democrats favored free trade.  The “locos” are the Democrats.

The “vice” of a rule is Vice President John Tyler.  What the congress did, Tyler undid by vetoing.

A “job” is a crime, as in “the bank job.” The “fob” is a small pocket (suitable for holding a watch).

A “corporal’s guard” is a very small group of people, here referring to the folks in congress who supported Tyler.

Tomorrow: The Whig Chief