A Spare Scene from Yet Another Unwritten Novel

“That was the first thing we noticed,” Dalmatia said. “The copy-machine was broken.”

“Broken? How?”

“The cover-glass was cracked. And when we opened the front cover, we found a photocopy of someone’s bum jammed in the fuser.”

“That would have been before you found Fred’s body.”

“Yes. He was hidden behind the coffee cart. We didn’t find him until mid-morning. Everyone thought at first it was odd that he hadn’t come in. Then … the look on his face. Horrible.”

“I understand,” Lieutenant VanDelven said, writing in his notebook. “Do you have any idea whose butt it is?”

“No. Not really. We thought at first that it might be Fred’s — he was always such a joker. And the phone directory on his desk was open to ‘Xerox Repair.’ But then … Sandy noticed that the butt was … female.”

“I see,” VanDelven said. He looked around the office. No less than fifteen females were within easy view. His next question would need to be asked very tactfully….

2 thoughts on “A Spare Scene from Yet Another Unwritten Novel

  1. “You have an unusual name, Ms., uh–”
    “Call me Callie.”
    “I’m sorry, Ms. Callipygian; department rules forbid such familiarity. Now, do you have any idea who might have used the copier last night?”
    “Why, I’m sure I have no idea!”

  2. Incidentally, Fred wasn’t murdered. He died of natural causes, if you can call an unfortunate drug interaction between NyQuil and caffeine “natural.” Lieutenant VanDelven’s investigation is about to take a very strange turn indeed.

    From its seemingly mundane beginning in a Filene’s Basement Spring White Sale to the startling conclusion on the peak of Denali during a blinding snowstorm, the latest novel in the best-selling VanDelven Investigates (R) mystery series will keep fans of the genre guessing!

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